港女的出路

今天晚上無線星期二檔案主題是香港30以上未婚的女人,形形式式,有些情路坎坷,有些深信終有一天會找到真愛。
真是貪嗔痴。
依我看,出路有幾個:
  1. 養隻貓,養隻狗,如果你享受柏拉圖式戀愛,養魚也是不錯的選擇。我養了pet society 的一隻「野」。
  2. 返深圳包個靚𡃁仔,包你夜夜纏綿晚晚滿足到落腳趾尾。不過千萬別真的戀愛了啊。你既是中女,有人生智慧,不會這樣蠢吧?要付出你那熊熊不能止息的愛?給你隻貓或隻狗或你條魚,牠們才有慧根接收你的愛。
  3. 還是有太多愛要付出?去宣明會,或保良局收養小朋友,很多孤兒需要你的愛。母親的抉擇有嬰兒可抱。
  4. 上交友網站,交老外。網上尋戀愛的外國男友人,多如天上星星,你別只貪後生靚仔,選擇還是很多的。況且我一直覺得老外的愛情觀和對女人的認知理解,比香港男人好一千倍,也當然更浪漫。好啦,香港男人,別罵我,老外只比香港男人好一百倍,好未?雖然我自己有痛苦的經驗,可是我必得承認他們是比較「不扭曲」的。香港女人有慧根接受到文化差異的了。溫馨提示,據說中東男人性能力驚人的強。真的只是聽說的啊!
  5. 放低你的標準,選擇會多很多。即是,你懂不懂?60歲的男人都會嫌40歲的女人老,如果你「只是」30多歲,那不妨考慮一下50-60歲的男人了。他比你早死?世事難料啊,而且,你既不怕煩狠下心腸一定要找個伴,那便得承擔這些結果的啦。人工比你低?如果他服侍得我阿姐開開心心,這,又算是甚麼呢?若不幸中了降,說不定,我反過來服侍他呢。若我有個男人,第一件事我一定不能讓他有乾裂的皮膚,一定晚晚為他做腳按摩擦潤膚霜,縱使他80歲。
  6. 只要有恆心,鐵柱磨成針。你說中女找不到男人,可是,我身邊也有超過半打以上從未結婚的中年男人,人品可以,有正當職業,為人生性上進,學歷更是無得頂,他們都有個共通點,就是喜歡貓,可見他們比一般女人更有慧根,早早看破紅塵,以貓為伴最穩妥,最多貓死時名正言順的悲痛欲絕,總比幾十歲人為一個女人傷心高雅。你得對自己有自信,不是個個男人都只喜歡𡃁妹的。很不公平,是不是?中年獨身男人是荀盤,中年獨身女人便是潰爛的傷口。在我心目中,其實中男和中女都是一樣的,他們都是一些不可救藥的個人主義者。這種男人當然比北上娶大陸妹的男人有貴氣,會娶大陸妹的男人你都不考慮啦。(對不起,這是很《壹週刊》、《忽然一週》的一元世界呈現法,我是為這樣寫過癮而這樣寫的。地域歧視嗎,當然有,現下大陸受過高等教育的獨身大齡女,不一樣歧視大陸男娶越南老婆?中女獨身的問題,同樣存在於大陸。據說,美國黑人女性這問題猶為嚴峻,有個講法,黑人女人進大學,黑人男人進監獄;希望隨著美國有了第一個黑人總統後,美國黑人男人爭爭氣氣。再對不起,扯遠了。)這些男人到了這個年紀都不結婚,連固定女朋友都沒有,又不是同性戀,那,他們當然就是有他們的問題啦,不是自視過高便是不願意安定下來,那,你當有無比耐性愛心,在你有限的青春中,把冰山擘開。你怕你等不到?即係咁,橫掂都無第二個,得閒便擘下冰山,打定輸數,擘不開咪算囉,或者,有日他的貓死了,有空窗期被你乘虛而入呢。(我不排除你毒死他的貓的可行性)
  7. 做第三者。在這個弱肉強食的世界,我看不出這樣有甚麼不好。你必需要明白,男女政治角力中,是看誰的手段高明誰得手。如果好男人難求,那,撕下面皮去爭又有甚麼問題?不要告訴我作為一個中女你未試過為了工作與人爭得頭破血流,為了一份只是做三五七年的工你都可以失禮人前,那,為了一個或者可以一生一世的男人,再強悍攻心計你無理由做不出。同樣,你不應把到手的男人當上季的 Miu Miu 袋一樣不珍惜,怎樣都把他當今季的Jimmy Choo鞋一樣,小心穿著,炫燿人前時也得裝作不經意的謙虛說這個款其實不很好,不過你合穿而已。
  8. 這是最實際最不出事的一個,便是修煉自己,至無求到處人緣好,不飲從他酒價高的境界,真的,當你甚麼都不求,你便會心境平和,這種快樂是無人能從你身上心中拿走的。付出愛便盼望得到回報,除了你的貓狗,誰會老老實實忠誠的等你愛?愛回你的人也不一定以你喜歡的方式去回報你的愛。唯有不求,才能得到深深的平靜安寧。即是,接受一切,卻又不失對生命的熱情,得閒看看《道德經》,有助身心平衡。
我的體會是,如果你有決心結婚,幾多歲都找得到對像,找不到只因貪嗔痴,有些事有些要求有些標準放不低而已。你看日本人找對像有問題嗎?到時到候要結婚便找人介紹,絕對沒有找不到對像的道理。不結婚只是個人選擇而已。
各適其宜,各取所需,各位施主,阿彌陀佛。






Comments

Hoito said…
最認同第7點,做第三者。做得第三者,可以算是有機會勝出。況且,男人往往都會折服於第三者。
Water Moon said…
根據我見過的事例,攪不攪到人地分手或離婚,是看這個第三者有幾專橫霸道,可是,離了婚都不一家最後永遠和你一起,都得看性格夾不夾。
BABEDOLPHIN said…
Really enjoyed reading your insight into the 'situation'! Actually I quite like reading 深雪's column in the 太陽報 too. : )

Speaking of 第三者, I think my biggest problem with dating anyone is mostly because the ones I like are ALWAYS already taken, sometimes going out with great guys, sometimes stuck with a tosser or a loser like a hairdresser or something - how the hell am I suppose to find any rare decent girls? I go clubbing sometimes, dated some from there too, but they're just the 談情說愛 type, completely no 遠見, wants to have sex after the 2nd date... as if I'm a sex machine, what a big turn off. I'm yet deciding whether to try and be an instigator to become the 第三者 sometimes!

Or else - try harder and find someone who's single and likeable, and most importantly of all, respectable and we have mutual feelings for each other ;)
Water Moon said…
wish you good luck in soul mate hunting. I have to say, I know nobody what they described as a 港女.
Not cooking, yes, etcetc, but, I never see any girl from my circle let the guy pay for everything and take it for granted and have princess decease. After all, I blame it for the culture. we are monster blended unsuccessful east meet west. I hate to be treated like product in supermkt. and i hate it i can not tell the man i like directly I want you. i hate it when men see women as a trophy. i enjoy being single and don't tell me you are 老姑婆. blah blah blah...
BABEDOLPHIN said…
I agree too, in fact, there are not that many 'Kong Lui' as other guys say. (woops, my laptop suddenly can't type chinese again, sorry bout that, annoying!!)

Besides, men who even insinuate that are immature - for me, girls and females are different to guys. That's how life was meant to work and they fill in each other's weaknesses.

Girls need much more re-assurance and therefore it is completely expectable that they try to become slightly manipulative and actually TEST the guys first, whether they are serious about them in a relationship. Of course, there are always exceptional cases as with many things, and especially for those with low esteem or broken family, or prior bad relationships, they will be even more demanding, etc! But how many guys will ever understand it ; )

Its all about respect for each other, not just men vs women, but between human vs human. : )

HAVE FAITH! ^o^'
Water Moon said…
BTW, are you saying hairdresser is loser? OMG.
I know, after all, this is HK, ppl's brain get cooked when u live here long enough.
BABEDOLPHIN said…
Don't laugh but its personal. :) The hairdressers are such sweet-talkers all the time because they face all types of females everyday. They're always ready to convince someone they look dazzling, but its a bit fake, yet naive women or gals buy it.

Sorry to say, I'm not used to saying things I don't really feel honestly about it. In that sense I envy those who practise it without morals and restraints. :D

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